Gone are the days of bridesmaid norms: it’s no longer standard that they’re ugly and they no longer have to even be the same dress! Because unless you have a party of clones, everything looks different on everyone.

My favorite (long term) trend is having each bridesmaid wear a different look, giving everyone the option to purchase a dress/outfit that they’re comfortable in and enjoy wearing while still looking cohesive with the other members of the bridal party.

How to do it without looking like a mess?

That was a question I got ALL the time as a bridesmaid stylist and yes, the process can be a little overwhelming, but that’s what this post is for! So here’s the ultimate guide for how to mix and match your bridesmaid dresses:

There are 3 main components of a bridesmaid look

Color, Cut, and Length are the things to play with when wanting a little variation among the bridal party. You can pick just one to keep the same (my personal recommendation) or mix them all up! Combo suggestions:

• all the same color and length, but different necklines and silhouettes (super popular)

• Different shades of the same color with different necklines, but same length

• Different lengths and necklines with the same color

• Different styles in the same color (ex: jumpsuit, short dress, long dress, separates)

Let’s talk color

1) If you’re a bride that feels 100% out of her element when it comes to color and fashion, do yourself a favor and stick to the SAME DESIGNER for all the bridesmaid dresses. It’ll guarantee you that the colors will be similar, while getting the same fabric (yes fabric is important).

2) You can either stick to one color and do a variety of shades (ex: blues- midnight, sky, slate, etc) OR go for a color palette (ex: coral, baby pink, fuchsia, nude)

3) Add in patterns! So many bridesmaid designers are now offering patterned dresses and it’s a great way to incorporate all your favorite colors and give your photos a little extra dimension. Tip: not everyone has to be in a pattern, break it up with a few people wearing a solid color that matches!

4) If you got SUPER stressed just reading the points above, visit a bridal salon and they’ll help you pick! Stores keep swatch books as well as sample gowns so you can have all your options laid out in front of you. If you don’t want to go in person, many online retailers will mail you swatches! It’s a great way to not only see the color, but get a chance to feel the fabric as well

Fabrics are fun

Switch it up with a variety of fabrics! Go all out and have everyone in something different while keeping with the wedding colors. Popular fabric choices for bridesmaids are:

• Chiffon

• Jersey

• Crepe

• Sequins

• Beaded

If you’re going to have people in varying fabrics, the color will automatically be different so take advantage and put them all in complimentary colors too!

One last thing

If you still want all your bridesmaids in the same dress, but want your Maid/Matron of Honor to stand out, apply the tips above to only her! She can definitely be the singular bridal party member in a complimentary color, beaded gown, or patterned look.

If you’re only just now starting your dress search and you’re beginning to hyperventilate after reading all of this, then I’d suggest (taking a deep breath first) reading the blog post about shopping for bridesmaid gowns. You can find that here.

Happy coordinating! As always, feel free to email me with any questions you may have and I’d be happy to help

Samantha Shammas, Author and Owner of SamiaLynn

When it comes to bridesmaid shopping, I know the frustration can get REAL.  Back in my days of being a consultant in the bridesmaid department, I’ve had brides tell me how the stress and anger surrounding the process actually made them lose their friends!

Yes, you read that correctly: women are breaking up with their friends over a wedding.  Granted, this frustration usually develops over multiple instances, including the bridesmaid dress, but still, I’ve seen my fair share of fighting and crying in the dressing room.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I have one word for you when it comes to bridesmaid shopping: COMPROMISE

So, I have tips for ya’ll on bridesmaid dress shopping, because the #1 thing I always hear is “I had no idea the process would be like this”

BRIDES, my loves, these are for you:

1. Not everyone can or wants to be a bridesmaid.  

I know you picked your best girls (or guys) to stand by your side, but the modern truth is not everyone has the financial or emotional capacity to fulfill that role.  So save your friendship and give your people an “out” if they need it.  No feelings hurt.

2. Respect the financial investment involved.  

Gone are the days of cheap dresses.  Please understand that your girls will have to shell out money, even for the ugliest dress (not forgetting the extra fees for shipping, rush, and alterations).  So unless you’re paying for it, your bridesmaids should have a little bit of a say in the dress they’re buying and keep in mind they really do want to look their best for your special day.

3. Not all bodies are created equal.

Going off of #2, be mindful that dress shopping can be hard for those that are insecure about their bodies.  Especially if they go into a store that doesn’t even carry their size or something just isn’t physically possible (big boobs, meet backless dress).  So if you’d like your girls to all wear the same dress (which is totally fine!), pick something that’s universally flattering and comfortable.

BRIDESMAIDS, here you go:

1. It’s not about you.

This isn’t your wedding.  I’m all about you having your opinion heard regarding the dress you’re being forced to pay for, but at the end of the day there’s a whole group of people to consider and that can add to the already stressed bride.  Keep the bride’s wedding vision in mind while you share your thoughts.

2. HELP the bride instead of freaking out at her.

Brides are stressed humans.  If she’s trying to make you wear a long satin evening gown for a beach wedding, GENTLY point out that chiffon or a light jersey would cause less heat strokes.  If she can’t figure out a color that will flatter everyone’s skin tones, suggest something more neutral.  Just showing her that you’re on her side to make her wedding amazing can do wonders for keeping everyone calm.  She would probably even love a little inspiration help!

3. Be honest without being a b*tch

Going off of #1, emotions are running high right now.  Remember that there’s a NICE way to give your opinion while the bride is trying to dress you up like a cupcake.  I swear, she really does want you to look amazing.  If it’s a money issue, have an honest talk with her and see if there’s a solution you can work out together.

One last note for EVERYONE:

* It’s a PROCESS.  It takes TIME.  Don’t expect to go into a store and leave in under an hour with your order placed (the majority of my customers spent 3-5 hours at the store) or jump online and buy from the first website you land on.  Be patient with each other.

See?  You can have your cake and eat it too, it just might be a different flavor than you were expecting (but at least you still get cake).  So bridesmaids, help your bride find you something amazing to wear that fits her vision; and brides, respect your girls opinions and everything will go much more smoothly.

My inbox is always open for anyone needing to tap into my bridesmaids dress knowledge.  Happy shopping!

Samantha Shammas, Author and Owner of SamiaLynn