As the world learned of the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, the UK’s longest reigning monarch, it got me thinking about royal weddings.

(Fun fact: when Queen Elizabeth married Prince Philip, they had a 9 foot tall wedding cake that weighed 500 POUNDS!)

British royal weddings are not only seeped in tradition, but there’s also quite a few rules that the engaged couple must abide by for their big day. Little by little these have been adapted to the times over the years (see: being allowed to marry non royals, being allowed to marry divorced persons, etc), but these 6 major ones have seemed to have stayed around a while:

1. You need the Queen or King’s approval

This rule applies to many things, beginning with the engagement. The Royal Marriages Act of 1772 requires approval of the couple before the groom can propose. This act was actually appealed in 2013 by the Succession to The Crown Act which states only the first 6 royals in line to the throne need permission. The Queen/King also must approve the bride’s dress, the final guest list, and the tiaras (only married women are allowed to wear them).

2. The rings are made from Welsh gold

It’s tradition that the wedding rings are gifted from the Queen/King (since 1911!). Since the original Welsh gold mine has shut down, that gold is now in limited supply, making it even more exclusive and expensive.

3. The wedding party is made up of children

Royal British weddings don’t do “wedding parties” of groomsmen and bridesmaids. Instead they have a gaggle of little flower girls and page boys participating in the wedding ceremony. The old rule was all the kids must also be royals, but recently weddings have incorporated kids from both sides if the bride or groom is not of royalty.

4. The wedding dress designer must be British

A nod to the monarchy, brides having a royal wedding will get their dress designed by a British designer. See: Megan Markle’s dress by Claire Waight Keller, Kate Middleton’s dress by Sarah Burton, and Sarah Ferguson’s dress by Linda Cierach.

5. Royalty training is a must

If a royal is marrying a non-royal (or a “commoner”), they must go through training. This prepares them for their new life as a “working royal”; learning expectations, social traditions, and even security protocols for their own safety.

6. Rules for Guests

Just because they’re guests, doesn’t mean they’re exempt. A couple examples being: 1) Female guests must wear a hat (not too big), 2) Only married women can wear a tiara, and 3) Men are not allowed to wear a tuxedo.

As much as everyone loves a good royal wedding, knowing these tidbits (and these are just a few of a many) of what they go through is almost exhausting. If you enjoy following traditions, that’s wonderful! But hopefully a bit more flexibility will be available for future couples down the line.

Samantha Shammas, Author and Owner of SamiaLynn

Weddings are full of romance, love, and RULES (I mean, traditions…). Almost every part of the process has a tradition to incorporate into your nuptials. You do these things because your mother and grandmother did them and now they expect you to do the same. Have you ever looked into the origins of these wedding rituals? Some of them may shock you! 

• The Veil

  • When you think of veils you may think about hiding the bride from the groom before the vows are said, but did you know that veils were used to ward off evil spirits in the Roman period?

• The Wedding Ring

  I was raised to believe that the shape of the ring was most symbolic, a circle has no beginning and no end as does the commitment made going into a marriage.

  • We have kept this tradition from Roman times also as they believed that there is a vein in the fourth fingers on your left hand that leads directly to the heart. It was later found that this is not special to the left hand, but the tradition still stands. 

  • Diamonds are the most commonly used stone in wedding and engagement bands because diamonds are the strongest and most indestructible mineral on earth, symbolizing forever. It didn’t start so luxuriously though, the first rings were made out of hemp, twigs any other items found while foraging. Romans began using Iron rings to symbolize marriage, and the wealthiest Romans had gold rings in addition to the iron rings to be worn out in public. 

• The Bouquet Toss

  As so many weddings are being postponed right now, learning about the origin of bridal bouquets is a flashback to the largest pandemic in history.

  • During the Bubonic plague brides carried bouquets of garlic and herbs to ward off evil spirits and to distract from the foul odors lingering. 

  • The tossing of the bouquet stems from the idea that brides are considered lucky, so taking something from the bride would bring you good luck. When it became frowned upon to steal a bride's earrings, hair, or other accessories (think Cinderella getting stripped down by her step sisters), brides began throwing their bouquet and letting the single ladies fight for that bit of luck. 

• Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue

  This rhyme rolls way back to the Victorian era. Each item listed in the rhyme is intended to be a different piece that should be worn on the wedding day.

  • Something old represents your past before becoming one with your significant other, something new represents your life as a now married couple, something borrowed represents your family or close friends being a part of this important day, and something blue represents fidelity. 

• Do not see each other the day of the wedding  

  • Unfortunately there’s not exactly a romantic way to spin this one. The tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other on the wedding day stems straight from the days of arranged marriage, enforced so that it was too late for the man to change his mind by the time he saw his bride’s face. Now it is seen as bad luck to see each other before the bride walks down the aisle. 

    Can I now use this moment to suggest a first look? This is the perfect way to have a moment with your future spouse before the chaos of the day goes into full swing, and also gives you a chance to fix your makeup before you take all of your professional pictures. This could also allow you to take all of the boring but necessary pictures before the ceremony so that you can join the cocktail hour you spent countless hours planning. 

• Why Wear White?

  This is one of my favorite unknown bridal facts that I didn’t know until after becoming a bridal consultant! 

  • Queen Victoria spun the world into a tizzy by showing up to her wedding in a white silk gown in 1840 instead of the rich colors, furs, and jewels that made up brides outfits during that time. At first people were shocked that she didn’t stand out the way she was expected to with over the top jewels and fabrics. Soon it was realized that wearing white symbolized money. Instead of wearing a dress she already owned, Queen Victoria chose to get a new gown made in white knowing that it would be almost impossible to be kept clean and only needing to wear it once showed high status. 

Which of these traditions will you be incorporating into your big day?

I know for a fact that nothing could stop me from wearing a white gown and a long veil on my wedding day. And as Tik Tok has reminded me over and over again while social distancing, Corona has delayed my wedding! I am not engaged or anything, but this surely has delayed the process.

Lauren Allen, Author

Lauren is a bridal consultant and self-published author, with a background in celebrity styling and bridal make up artistry. You can find her with an oat milk cappuccino in the morning, and a glass of Cabernet at night, her real passions. Get enough wine in her and she will tell you about her perfectly planned wedding. Just promise not to ask about the groom, that’s one detail she’s still working on. Lauren is based in NYC and her book “How to Be 23” can be found here