Just in case you thought your wedding was just about you and the love of your life, I am here to burst your bubble.
From the moment you announce your engagement, everyone you know and love will be attempting to find their place in your wedding. Will your cousin be a bridesmaid? Your aunt wants to know because her daughter is pretty sure she needs to be dress shopping. Will your college roommate get a plus one? She’s not dating someone in particular, but she has her eye on someone who would look great in a suit. Is Mary from middle school even invited?
Our recommendation is to take someone you trust, with a backbone of steel (most likely your maid of honor, or a family member), and crown her your “NO” girl. What do I mean by this? Any time someone asks you for a special request or clarification that you feel guilty saying no to, send them to your no girl. They will just think you are busy and you trust this girl with all of your biggest wedding decisions, but what she will know is that anyone who gets directed to her by the bride automatically gets a “no” to whatever it is that they are asking. This person will know exactly the way to let your aunt, roommate, and middle school friend down easily and definitely. It is also the way for you to wash your hands of any guilt that may bring you.
I grew up Catholic, so I know guilt quite well, but I have seen the way that wedding planning can tear a bride apart with all of the people she feels like she has to let down on her big day. So many people want so much from you that the budget just doesn’t allow for. It is also a day that you will look back on for the rest of your life. Make sure that everyone involved is there for a reason. We’ve already talked about your wedding guest selection in a past blog though (linked here).
If you haven't already, call up your “no” girl to inform her of her duties, and then kick back and relax because you just lost tons of emotional weight off your shoulders. Chances are, your girl will be thrilled to take on her duties and wear it like an invisible cape over her shoulders at all times.
Cheers to the rest of wedding planning gone smoothly!
Lauren Allen, Author
Lauren is a bridal consultant and self-published author, with a background in celebrity styling and bridal make up artistry. You can find her with an oat milk cappuccino in the morning, and a glass of Cabernet at night, her real passions. Get enough wine in her and she will tell you about her perfectly planned wedding. Just promise not to ask about the groom, that’s one detail she’s still working on. Lauren is based in NYC and her book “How to Be 23” can be found here
